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    JOKES THREAD

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    mickjenn
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    JOKES THREAD

    Post  mickjenn on Sun Mar 21, 2010 10:15 am

    Girls night out
    Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

    The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'
    lol!
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    Re: JOKES THREAD

    Post  mickjenn on Sun Mar 21, 2010 10:19 am

    Presents for the Wife
    Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks.

    After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her."

    After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved her."

    The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go f*** herself."
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    Huflungpu

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    Re: JOKES THREAD

    Post  Huflungpu on Sun Mar 21, 2010 10:20 am

    What's worse than finding a worm in the apple you're eating?









    Getting Raped

    OnlyOneCT

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    Re: JOKES THREAD

    Post  OnlyOneCT on Sun Mar 21, 2010 10:25 am

    5000 men surveyed were asked why they like blowjob's

    1% liked warmth
    2% liked sensation
    3% liked eroticism
    94% just liked the peace and quiet!

    Mr_Miyagi

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    Re: JOKES THREAD

    Post  Mr_Miyagi on Sun Mar 21, 2010 10:38 am

    OnlyOneCT wrote:5000 men surveyed were asked why they like blowjob's

    1% liked warmth
    2% liked sensation
    3% liked eroticism
    94% just liked the peace and quiet!

    I like them because they are an easy way to make £5
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    mickjenn
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    Re: JOKES THREAD

    Post  mickjenn on Sun Mar 21, 2010 10:43 am

    Mr_Miyagi wrote:
    OnlyOneCT wrote:5000 men surveyed were asked why they like blowjob's

    1% liked warmth
    2% liked sensation
    3% liked eroticism
    94% just liked the peace and quiet!

    I like them because they are an easy way to make £5

    lol! a fiver fuk me wat can i get for 20nicker

    Mr_Miyagi

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    Re: JOKES THREAD

    Post  Mr_Miyagi on Sun Mar 21, 2010 10:44 am

    Admin wrote:
    Mr_Miyagi wrote:
    OnlyOneCT wrote:5000 men surveyed were asked why they like blowjob's

    1% liked warmth
    2% liked sensation
    3% liked eroticism
    94% just liked the peace and quiet!

    I like them because they are an easy way to make £5

    lol! a fiver fuk me wat can i get for 20nicker

    anal and I will put it in my mouth after
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    mickjenn
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    Re: JOKES THREAD

    Post  mickjenn on Sun Mar 21, 2010 10:46 am

    Mr_Miyagi wrote:
    Admin wrote:
    Mr_Miyagi wrote:
    OnlyOneCT wrote:5000 men surveyed were asked why they like blowjob's

    1% liked warmth
    2% liked sensation
    3% liked eroticism
    94% just liked the peace and quiet!

    I like them because they are an easy way to make £5

    lol! a fiver fuk me wat can i get for 20nicker

    anal and I will put it in my mouth after

    perfect m8

    OnlyOneCT

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    Re: JOKES THREAD

    Post  OnlyOneCT on Sun Mar 21, 2010 2:30 pm

    What made Sunday Evening TV in the 80/90's Fucking Super Smashing Great lol! Smile

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHHvl0FnKQE

    Just pure class and something the Sky Poker mods would probably find not politically correct!
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    Re: JOKES THREAD

    Post  mickjenn on Sun Mar 21, 2010 3:31 pm

    OnlyOneCT wrote:What made Sunday Evening TV in the 80/90's Fucking Super Smashing Great lol! Smile

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHHvl0FnKQE

    Just pure class and something the Sky Poker mods would probably find not politically correct!

    craig funny as fuck i fell of the sofa m8 classs n1 Laughing
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    Re: JOKES THREAD

    Post  mickjenn on Mon Mar 22, 2010 4:17 am

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    Re: JOKES THREAD

    Post  mickjenn on Mon Mar 22, 2010 4:19 am


    lJAMESl

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    Re: JOKES THREAD

    Post  lJAMESl on Mon Mar 22, 2010 4:31 am

    http://www.megavideo.com/?v=G1BDE88M

    Click the red play button close the sponsor page then the play button should turn green! Click it to play! Funny as fook!

    DOHHHHHHH

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    Re: JOKES THREAD

    Post  DOHHHHHHH on Mon Mar 22, 2010 4:36 am

    Put this in the shed a few week bak - still meks me laugh everytime tho -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4U17cLoAXI
    Dedicated to Webby234
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    Huflungpu

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    Re: JOKES THREAD

    Post  Huflungpu on Mon Mar 22, 2010 6:38 am

    What do you say to a muslim woman with two black eyes?


    Nothing


    Her husband already told her ........................... twice
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    mickisadonk

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    Re: JOKES THREAD

    Post  mickisadonk on Mon Mar 22, 2010 2:06 pm

    Mr_Miyagi wrote:
    OnlyOneCT wrote:5000 men surveyed were asked why they like blowjob's

    1% liked warmth
    2% liked sensation
    3% liked eroticism
    94% just liked the peace and quiet!

    I like them because they are an easy way to make £5

    LMAO

    POTTSY

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    Re: JOKES THREAD

    Post  POTTSY on Wed Mar 24, 2010 3:15 pm

    What's black and screams like hell? Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
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    mickjenn
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    Re: JOKES THREAD

    Post  mickjenn on Wed Mar 24, 2010 5:25 pm

    POTTSY wrote:What's black and screams like hell? Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

    ahahaha nice 1 Very Happy

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    Re: JOKES THREAD

    Post  OnlyOneCT on Wed Mar 24, 2010 5:48 pm

    Couple driving home and run over a badger, they get out and find it's still breathing but freezing cold. He says "Put it between your legs to warm it up", she says "But it's all wet and it stinks", he says "Well hold it's fucking nose then!".

    OnlyOneCT

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    Re: JOKES THREAD

    Post  OnlyOneCT on Wed Mar 24, 2010 5:52 pm

    A foul mouthed ugly common fat woman walks into Asda draggin two dirty brats with her. The Greeter says "good morning madam, what beautiful kids you have, are they twins?", she says "stupid bastard, she's 7 he's only fucking 3 why would you think they are twins dickhead!", Greeter says "because i cant imagine anyone shagging you twice!"
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    Re: JOKES THREAD

    Post  mickjenn on Wed Mar 24, 2010 5:54 pm

    OnlyOneCT wrote:A foul mouthed ugly common fat woman walks into Asda draggin two dirty brats with her. The Greeter says "good morning madam, what beautiful kids you have, are they twins?", she says "stupid bastard, she's 7 he's only fucking 3 why would you think they are twins dickhead!", Greeter says "because i cant imagine anyone shagging you twice!"

    ahahah class again mr ct, keep em comin fella lol!

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    Re: JOKES THREAD

    Post  daveyzz on Sat Mar 27, 2010 2:49 pm

    carlos tevez asks his wife"why doesnt our new baby boy look like me?"
    she replys"give me a chance i havent boiled the fucking kettle yet!" ty
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    Re: JOKES THREAD

    Post  mickjenn on Sat Mar 27, 2010 2:52 pm

    daveyzz wrote:carlos tevez asks his wife"why doesnt our new baby boy look like me?"
    she replys"give me a chance i havent boiled the fucking kettle yet!" ty

    haha
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    themackem

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    Re: JOKES THREAD

    Post  themackem on Sat Mar 27, 2010 3:17 pm

    A YOUNG GUY SPOTS THIS HOT CHICK WITH A LADDER IN HER TIGHTS BEING SMART HE SAYS IS THAT A LADDER IN YOUR TIGHTS OR A STAIRWAY TO MY HEAVEN ?? .. HER RESPONSE WAS QUICK "IT CANT BE TO YOUR HEAVEN COS IVE ALREADY GOT 1 CUNT THERE " !!!!!!

    OnlyOneCT

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    Re: JOKES THREAD

    Post  OnlyOneCT on Sun Mar 28, 2010 8:15 am

    China has announced its team for the Paralympics, including medal favourites Fu Kin Mong, Sim Pal Twat, Wan Lim Gon, Fut Long Tung, Won Kee Eye and Mai Lef Fut.

    Sponsored content

    Re: JOKES THREAD

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