A medical professor was lecturing his 1st year students about involuntary muscle contractions. To liven up the lesson he asked one of the female students, "for example do you know what your arsehole does while you are having an orgasm?". She replies "He's probably at Old Trafford watching Man Utd!"
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JOKES THREAD
OnlyOneCT- Posts : 42
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Join date : 2010-03-21
Location : Somewhere oop North!
OnlyOneCT- Posts : 42
Points : 47
Reputation : 1
Join date : 2010-03-21
Location : Somewhere oop North!
A man goes into the library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says "fuck off, you won't bring it back!"
mickjenn- Admin
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OnlyOneCT wrote:A medical professor was lecturing his 1st year students about involuntary muscle contractions. To liven up the lesson he asked one of the female students, "for example do you know what your arsehole does while you are having an orgasm?". She replies "He's probably at Old Trafford watching Man Utd!"
OnlyOneCT- Posts : 42
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Reputation : 1
Join date : 2010-03-21
Location : Somewhere oop North!
95 year old man is given a jar to provide a sperm sample at hospital. He turns up 2 days later with an empty jar. Nurse asks why no sample?. He says sorry but i tried with my right hand, then my left!. Then my wife tried with both hands!, Then with her mouth, first with her teeth in, then with them out. Then we got Ethel from next door to try!, But it was no good, we just couldn't get the fucking lid off the jar!!!
Last edited by OnlyOneCT on Sun Mar 28, 2010 8:26 am; edited 1 time in total
mickjenn- Admin
- Posts : 258
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Join date : 2010-03-21
Location : crewe
OnlyOneCT wrote:95 year old mean is given a jar to provide a sperm sample at hospital. He turns up 2 days later with an empty jar. Nurse asks why no sample?. He says sorry but i tried with my right hand, then my left!. Then my wife tried with both hands!, Then with her mouth, first with her teeth in, then with them out. Then we got Ethel from next door to try!, But it was no good, we just couldn't get the fucking lid off the jar!!!
webby- Posts : 73
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Join date : 2010-03-27
Boy in confession says to priest, "Forgive me Father for I have sinned, I wanked myself off over my sister." Priest says "That is DISGRACEFUL! Especially as you have 2 gorgeous little brothers"
webby- Posts : 73
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Join date : 2010-03-27
A bloke says to his girlfriend: 'Do you wanna play the rape game?'
'NO!' she replies.
Bloke: 'That's the spirit!'
'NO!' she replies.
Bloke: 'That's the spirit!'
webby- Posts : 73
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Join date : 2010-03-27
Fabio Capello phones Wayne Bridge and say's " John Terry has lost the captain's arm band, can u have a look under your bed and see if it's there"
webby- Posts : 73
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Join date : 2010-03-27
I was standing in a queue behind a woman with a fat arse when her phone started bleeping. A little boy behind me shouts "fuck me, she's reversing"
bl4de900- Posts : 48
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Join date : 2010-03-28
Age : 52
Location : norn iron
- Post n°35
HOW DO YA GET 50 SKY COMMUNITY MEMBERS UP SKY RICHS ARSE?
bl4de900 Fri Apr 02, 2010 11:23 am
EASY ANNOUSE THERES A £20 FREEOLL UP THERE! 
webby- Posts : 73
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Join date : 2010-03-27
ant got a clue what you have done there but it looks dodgy as fook.
ps: sky rich has got a face a wunt get bored of punching lol
ps: sky rich has got a face a wunt get bored of punching lol
bl4de900- Posts : 48
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Join date : 2010-03-28
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whats dodgy as fook lol?webby wrote:ant got a clue what you have done there but it looks dodgy as fook.
ps: sky rich has got a face a wunt get bored of punching lol
